Advice for Muslim Educators & Parents on Talking to their Children About Halloween by Author & Educator Umm Juwayriyah

And Allah said:

ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ السَّيِّئَةَ نَحْنُ أَعْلَمُ بِمَا يَصِفُونَ

Repel evil with what is better. We are most knowing of what they describe.

Surat al-Mu’minun 23:96

2018 - It's that time of year again! You know, the beginning of the holiday season for non-Muslims. As a Muslim educator and/or parent, make no mistakes about it: It is your job to educate Muslim youth about these holidays and not only to avoid them - but why and how they should protect themselves from them and learn about some alternatives so that they don't have to always feel left out. Yes, long ago perhaps in the good ole' days, the haram label would send shivers down spines and snatch the breath right out of the lungs of many pious elders and youth. But guess what? Those times have changed! Our approach as educators has to grow and adapt while holding firm to the Qur'an & Sunnah so that we can confidently guide Muslim youth around Halloween - and every non-Islamic holiday.

Our Muslim youth live in a time where through social media they are able to see, learn, imitate and fraternize virtually. They don't have to leave their rooms to engage in something haram. And truthfully, as many Muslim educators know, many trends that pop up and become "lit" from the media to styles of clothing to food to drinks to entertainment are rooted and founded in many things that certainly could be haram, or at the very least makruh (disliked). For some Muslim youth, especially those growing up in the West, the constant classification of everything that seemingly appears fun, cool, "harmless", and viral as haram or forbidden can be heavy, overwhelming, depressing, and hard for them to cope with. We have to recognize this hardship of our children and students and be ready to fortify them with love, attention, knowledge of Islam, and tangible solutions. We have to recognize that Islamophobia is impactful. We have to know that growing up in non-Muslim society  is not easy, nor even recommended for Muslim you. We definitely have to stop assuming that Muslim youth are weak in Eeman or that they don't love Allah simply because they are experiencing challenges and difficulty in a society that are a super minority in. I am always impressed and hopeful for Muslim youth because of all the challenges they face in the US calling them away from Allah. Muslim youth are resilient and full of grit, Alhamduleelah. Many Muslim youth persist and resist through heavy and hard trials. Many Muslim youth have been blessed with very strong faith. But even those people that Allah has granted strong Eeman, need to feel at ease, comfortable, able to play, relax, fit in, and feel accepted. This is the Fitra of mankind. When we don't provide these necessities to Muslims and especially Muslim youth --- someone or something else will.

It's important that we start opening up conversations and dialogue with the young Muslims that we are charged with. Lecturing is not always the best approach to teach with either.  We have to differentiate and model different approaches. Ask Muslim youth questions about how they feel about holidays like Halloween. Ask Muslim youth do they want to partake in it and why? Is it just about eating candy? Or hanging out with their friends and having some down time? Do they know the history behind Halloween? Do they know what Shirk is? Have we as Muslim educators done enough to teach Muslim youth how to reconcile their desires when they are leading them to do something that Allah has forbidden? Maybe they can journal (make sure you sign up for my Ramadhan Journaling/ Muslim Youth Journaling course), paint or draw a picture about the clash between Muslim holidays and non-Muslim holidays? Maybe the youth can put together a panel discussion or a night together with their friends to remember Allah? Maybe they can have a Netflix and chill night? There are so many alternatives and ways to create fun for Muslim youth, but we as Muslim educators have to be willing to help them. 

It's also important that we move away from ultimatums and start helping our youth to create solutions for themselves. Many teachers and parents will just throw out the haram label like a brick. It trumps (pun intended) everything, and the conversation ends before it really started. As Muslim educators, we cannot be afraid to talk to our students. Yes, some will fall out of bounds, and some will overstep the limits - be ready to reel them back in because that's your responsibility. Don't get overwhelmed or saddened that some of their ideas about Islam and Kufr are not solid yet. This is the stage of life that they are in that Allah decreed for them. Yes, pray for them, but more importantly, be ready to show them an alternative. Be ready to model good communication skills. Be ready to listen more than you speak. More importantly, be ready to help, guide, and model the beauty and mercy in Islam for them. 

Lastly, if you must take something away, replace it with something better. Halloween is not a Muslim holiday. Islamically it is not proper to celebrate All Hallow's Day, the Celtics harvest festival, the Gaelic festival of Samhain, lighting candles for the dead, or go trick-or treating -- all of those things are rooted in pagan ideas that are completely opposite of Tawheed (Oneness of God). But that doesn't mean we cannot talk to our youth about Halloween's history, past and present. It doesn't mean that we can't help Muslim youth create fun and safe alternatives. Muslim parents and educators: it is your responsibility to help Muslim youth to navigate this world and build up their self-confidence in their Islamic identity and their obedience and love of Allah. We can do it, enshallah. 

Be proactive! Muslim youth are counting on you.